Chinese To A Chinese Should Never Communicate In A Foreign Language .

Chinese Speaking To A Chinese Telephone Operator.

Caller : Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan ?
Operator : Yes, you can speak to me.
Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!
Operator: You are talking to someone! Who is this?
Caller: I’m Sum Wan .And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It’s urgent.
Operator: I know u are someone and u want to talk to anyone! But what’s
this urgent matter about?
Caller: Well just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother, Noe Wan was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.
Operator: Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital from the accident that isn’t an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don’t have time for this!
Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?
Operator: I’m Saw Lee.
Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name .

Three Virgins night

Once upon a time in Singapore, there lived a happy couple, Mr & Mrs Tan with their 3 lovely daughters; Elaine, Ena & Ella. The 3 daughters were brought up in a prim-and-proper way and when they reached 20, they were still virgins.

Years passed, and it was time to get them married. So, the parents found them the most suitable handsome guys. They got married and were preparing to set-off on their honeymoon.

As ‘concerned’ parents, Mr & Mrs Ng were curious about their daughters’ first-night experience. So, before the daughters went on their respective honeymoons, Mrs Ng told them,”Your father and I want to know about your 1st night encounters and whether you are satisfied. Write a letter to us, but as not to raise your husbands’ curiosity, you all must use a code-name to describe your experiences”.

So, the excited daughters were off. A week passed. Mr & Mrs Ng got the first letter. It was from Elaine. They opened the letter and found the word STANDARD CHARTERED. They immediately took the newspaper and looked for the Standard Chartered advertisement. “Ah! here it is!”, exclaimed Mr Ng. The motto for Standard Chartered was….”BIG, STRONG & FRIENDLY”. Mr & Mrs Ng were happy.

A week later, they got another letter. This time it was from Ena. The content was simple. “NESCAFE”. So, again they took the neswpaper and looked for the Nescafe ad. “Ah! here it is. ‘NESCAFE: PLEASURE TILL THE LAST DROP”. Mr & Mrs Ng jumped in joy.

Another week passed. A month passed. And another. There was still no letter from Ella. The Ngs became worried. Finally, the letter came. It was scribbled and could hardly be read but Mrs Ng managed to figure it out. The code-name was “SINGAPORE AIRLINES”. Why Singapore Airlines?

Mr Ng rushed to the nearest store and got a newspaper. He flipped the pages frantically. “Ah! Here it is!” Mrs Ng grabbed the page and read aloud. Before she could finish …THUMP!!!…she fell off her chair.

The motto was … “7 TIMES A WEEK. 4 TO 6 TIMES A DAY. NON-STOP.”…

Three nuns and a priest

There were three nuns, they all told the priest that they were going to do one sin each. So the priest says ok, do your sins, come back, and I’ll bless you.

So, they went to do their sins and came back to get blessed. The priest asked the first one who was laughing what her sin was. She said, “I had sex with a guy.” The priest said ok, blessed her and said go drink some holy water. So she did! The next one was laughing harder, and the priest asked her what her sin was. She said, “I got in a fight with another nun.” So he says ok, blessed her and told her to go drink some holy water. So she did! The priest asked the last one who was laughing even harder what she did. And as she was laughing she said, “I pissed in the holy water!”